Sunday, August 10, 2008

Flip your world

Well, clearly my promises about posting more often were just lies. Not intentional, but lies nonetheless. At any rate, last weekend we had Violet baptized and this weekend we spent a weekend in Door County for a seminar, but we considered it our first family vacation.
What I would like to talk about this time though is how shockingly one sided relationships can be. It sounds so negative to say that out loud, but I am starting to wonder if we really can't help ourselves. When we went down to Peoria to have Violet baptized we visited Grandpa Swardenski at his new pad. He seemed lonely. It is hard, because he has given to us without ever a single thought for himself and yet, we had not been to see him in his new home- old folks home- since he moved there months ago. As we left, we swore we would be back within a week since we felt his loneliness in such a guttural way- but, we returned to our lives and now are hoping to visit next weekend. Simply failing him. But, it is so hard. It seems like in relationships someone is always giving and someone is always taking and I think half the time we don't realize when it is that we are the takers. So, I guess I am suggesting that anyone who is still willing to check in on my blog (in which I never make an entry) ask themselves- in the important relationships in their life- am I taking or giving? Can I try to even the exchange? As for us, for the first time in our lives, and possibly his own, Grandpa needs us. He has always loved us without question and supported us without limitations and we cannot continue to be so one sided. I feel even worse, because we did not even know. We were not even cognizant enough of our relationship to know that he needed us. But, we will not let him down. Because the screwy thing about being the giver or the taker is that it doesn't mean that one side loves the other any more than the other. I love Grandpa so much that the idea of a world without him makes my heart hurt. He has been more kind to me than any human being in the world and he is more amazing than any human I have ever known and my love for him is unparalleled, but now so must be my actions.
So, look around and well, love your grandparents.